Rich's Random Thoughts

RICH'S RANDOM THOUGHTS

By Rich Briggs
March 7, 2008

I was raised an only child and lived all of my life in the same manner. Not having any siblings has had its advantages and its disadvantages. I was also very fortunate to be raised in a semi-strict environment. I was told early right from wrong and good from bad and there would be a price to be paid if I did wrong. Those times I did wrong, I did pay that price. I was also fortunate to have had the friends I did while growing up.

I had three close friends at that time, two of whom where four years older than me and the other three years older. They took me under their collective wings and looked after me as if I was their younger brother. I grew up fast because of these friends and matured a lot quicker than most of my peers my age. I was exposed to things at an early age that others would not be aware of until much later in their lives.

The other part of being raised strict is that I did not always get everything I wanted. An example of that is video games. Back in my time, Atari was the hot item every kid seemed to have. Mattel followed that up with their own Intellivision. The video game wars were on, but Atari was the clear winner. As much as I wanted an Atari system, my father would not have it because he did not want me sitting in front of the television all day playing video games. We had arcades at the local mall and I could go there whenever I wanted with my friends and play those games there. The downside to that was the fact we had to pay to play those games and there was only so much money to go around. At some point, we had to call it quits.

There was no such thing as cell phones, text messaging, and all of the technology that kids today are exposed to and always seem to have in their possession. I am not saying this is a bad thing. These items are this generation’s Atari video game systems. However, this is all laying a foundation for a point I will make later in this column.

Back at that time we made our own fun. My friends and I were always outside playing basketball, football, volleyball, stick ball, we made up new games, we played ice hockey and street hockey, we played soccer, and we were gone all day long playing and getting exercise and learning how to compete and make decisions without the help, or interference, from an adult. We learned a lot by doing things ourselves, which helped me become an independent individual.

My mother was a stay at home mom until I started high school in the fall of 1980. She decided she wanted to go back to work and help my uncle, who had just bought a business he had worked in for most of his life. At the time, she taught me how to cook, clean, do dishes, and do laundry. Basically, I was being taught how to help around the house, besides the outside work I was doing to help my dad.

Again, all of this was helping me become more independent and less reliant on others. Between the friends I had and the lessons I was learning that could not be found in a book, I learned how to take care of myself without having to rely on someone else to do my work for me. To this day, I am grateful for the friends I had to expose me to things at an early age that helped me to mature and grow up fast. I am also grateful to my parents for showing me how to mow the lawn, clean the vehicles, do basic household maintenance, and also how to do the work inside the house to keep everything clean, tidy, and working efficiently.

Some might say that my independence has been detrimental to my “social” life. I say it has been a Godsend because I don’t need anyone to “take care of me.” I can, more or less, do it all and don’t need anyone to do much of anything for me. I call that a blessing and am grateful everyday for my ability to be self-reliant. This is the 21st Century and some might say that I am the model for the “perfect partner.” On the contrary, I am the model for those who choose to live the simple life and don’t need anyone to do things for them.

However, that is not the direction I want to take this week’s column. I love the work I do with my kids at school. In its purest form, I think the teaching profession is the most noble of all professions. Working with our youth is so important because the guidance they need is ongoing. I am proud of the fact that I can talk to nearly every student about nearly every situation and know I am giving them good and proper advice.

My problem is the number of students who do not have the kind of direction they need at home. I know parenting is not easy and there is no answer, or manual, on how to parent and making the right decisions. But you can teach a child right from wrong, good from bad, and how to be prepared. Therein lies the problem. I see too many examples of students who do not get the kind of love and attention they need to succeed in life and, for many of them, we teachers are the only stability some of them receive on a daily basis.

Too many parents attempt to buy their children’s love because they don’t have the quality time to spend with them and be a parent. Yes, I know many parents have to have a two income household in order to pay the bills and keep the ship afloat. I understand that and, in many ways, there is no way around that. But the sacrifice is too many children not being raised and receiving the attention they need in order to make the right decisions in their lives.

I see students who don’t seem to have the proper clothing or the proper preparations for school, such as writing utensils, their materials, and their work completed. This bothers me. These kids have their iPods and their cell phones, but they don’t have a pencil. What’s wrong with this picture? I know those iPods and phones are not cheap and they cannot be without them. But when a student needs a pencil, they don’t have one. This is a skewered view of society.

The flipside is the video game players these kids have. They have Playstations, Nintendo Wiis, and I am sure there are others. It’s not that I have a problem with the kids having these games, not to mention the games they have access to on their computers. It’s that they think these are the most important things in their lives, yet they can’t bring a writing utensil to school. The priorities are totally backwards and this is what needs changed.
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I don’t see kids playing outside anymore. I do see, every once in a while, kids out on their bikes, rollerblades, or scooters, and that is every encouraging. I would like to see more of this. They get one hour to play their video games, then they go outside and they play or ride their bikes or scooters, even skateboards, and their roller blades. If it is inclement weather, they get the same one hour with their video games, then they either read a book, play a board game, or do something else constructive (television is not constructive). I used to build models when I was a kid and this was a tremendous way to spend time.

I fear we are raising a generation that is missing out on basic things in life that forces them to use their imaginations and not just levers on a video game controller. I know we have children who actually do constructive things, but it needs to go further than that. We complain about childhood obesity. That was never a problem when I was growing up. We always had a problem putting on, and keeping on, weight because we were always on the go. This doesn’t happen anymore.

Too many children are going home to empty houses and this has to stop. I cherish being a role model to my students and I do everything I can to help them. But I can only do so much. I think it’s time for some parents to rethink their priorities and start making some sacrifices for their children, before too many of them fall through the cracks and we don’t have any chance of getting them back.